my best friend, gus (yes, the one you all think is sooooo hott), made a quiz.
he likes jeans.
hence, this is "the jeans quiz."



You're innocently walking in the mall (searching for your favorite pair of jeans), when out of the blue (actually, black...leather) Cher interjects your path, refusing to move. You:

fall on your knees, not being able to help saying "ho-o-o-o" mindlessly, over and over again.
stroke your mullet in a confused manner and compliment her black leather tampon.

say, "Cheralyn!! Ho-o-o-o-w could you go out in nothing but a black leather headdress...your mom must be gee-golly-darned ashamed of you!"

force a soft laugh and wait till the feathers and leather clear.



Gigi Marie "Bruno Barker" Stoler calls you up for a hot date tonight but your legs are amazingly hairy, you:

Why, disguise my curly, dark leg-hair with black fishnets and a load of leather ho-o-o-o's.
find your tightest pair of leopard print leggings and fix yerself up a hott motif.
wear comfortable pleated slacks that not only hide your leg-hair, but also make your figure look slimmer.
Use nair depilatory product to rid myself of the unsightly mess--"yegh!"


You're finished dealing with your leg hair, you reach up to change a light-bulb (you have very low ceilings) and realize--to your dismay--that you also have ARMPIT HAIR!!! (which Gigi Marie "Bruno Barker" Stoler notoriosly hates) You:.

call your gay best friend ASAP to come and help you wax it.
have one of your 17 children to come graze upon it till it's aaaalll goone.
say, "Why that's just silly, you can't see armpit hair through a long sleeve blouse and sweater-vest. My gosh! What kind of person do you think I am???
Armpit hair?? I had it surgically removed when I was 2.


Gigi Marie "Bruno Barker" Stoler goes down on you on the first date, you:

Push her large, dalmation head off of you while yelling, "DO YOU THINK I WOULD BETRAY CHER LIKE THAT?! And in my new pants from France?!? (bench 42)
Why, I'd accept graciously and offer to have her baby.
Recoil in shock and shake vigorously as you accuse her of taking advantage of your professional relationship. Vow never to wear that sexy magenta sweater again.
This is the stupidest quiz ever, can I stop now?


Enough with Gigi: Legs, react:

"Mmmm leeegs. Juuuuude Law."
"Oh well, I prefer conch-fritters but a drumstick is good as well."
"Muffins anyone?"
"oooooh, nice and straight."



I like to write with:

a jock-strap, I find it's the best medium for my work.
write? Is this that alphabet business I couldn't quite grasp in 6th grade???
A pen!!! ::coy smile::
I don't write anymore, that's antiquated.


The point of this quiz was:

asses the sexiness of our asses of course!
Well, I was trying to send an online greeting card to my step-cousin's pig and I thought this was part of the process.
so I could have something to put in my online journal and be free of anything insightful and real. I also took the "Which Pretty Pretty Goddess/Princess Quiz Are You? But I didn't like the DeathQuiz here--it was just fresh!"
I thought it was to tell me what kind of jeans I was??? I hope I'm Guess!


Where are you from?

I am not from anywhere. I wasn't born I was created (but sometimes it's rumored that I'm Cher-spawn).
Kentucky, Tennessee, Bamer, and Missisip! Can't quite remember, one time I farted though.
Ann Taylor
"My state's not on here...stupid quiz!"

laura
paper
canvas
cd/dvd
etc.