Frederick
The dromedary, named Frederick, lurched forward, and Ferdinand almost fell off. Fernando's hand, an overcooked dumpling flanked by five pale sausage links, grabbed a frantic fistful of shirt and hair. Ferdinand spat through his mustache as he righted himself and cursed the animal. Francesca clucked with sympathy and leaned over to pet Frederick on the head. He was her baby. He had trouble walking when he was nervous, especially with all the human baggage. Besides, he suffered from a rare form of ungulate gigantism, which is what made it possible for him to carry three people and all their belongings, but which also made his joints weak and his gait unsteady.
Ferdinand chewed on a toothpick. He always kept a toothpick or five behind his ear. His gold tooth caught the sunlight just so and Francesa had to squint. "Six days," he said. "Six days, and what?"
Fernando bobbed his head and laughed. Then he grimaced.
Francesca narrowed her eyes. "And what?" she said. "What else do you want? I said I'd get you there. I provided the animal. I said I'd lead the animal. We're moving. And what?"
Frederick snorted and kicked sand into the air at a high angle. The humans blinked and coughed for a moment.
"It was not supposed to take this long!" Ferdinand bellowed, spitting sand. Frederick stopped, spooked.
"Maybe if you'd stop screaming and stop scaring the dromedary, we'd already be there," said Francesca.
"Something is very fishy," said Fernando. He looked at Ferdinand for approval. Ferdinand dismissed him with a wave of the hand.
"You don't like my way? You don't like my dromedary?" Francesca slid her hand over the animal's skin. Her variously knotted silk robes, black and grey, swarmed behind her like a storm of locusts. "Then get off. I don't care. Get there yourself. You think you know the way? Go. Good luck. Really. Good luck."
"Now wait," said Ferdinand. He lay his hand on top of Francesca's. She pulled her hand away. "I'm just asking, is there a way to make this thing move faster? I am not saying there is nothing in it for you. I am not saying that at all. It is merely a simple question. An idea. A request." He smiled. The gold tooth, again, blinded her.
"Get off my dromedary," she said.
"What?" Fernando appeared genuinely frightened. He looked to Ferdinand.
"Get off my dromedary."
"Listen, lady. Just hold on a minute, here. We already paid--"
Francesca dug deep into the front of her robes and pulled out six hundred euros. "Take your stinking euro money. I don't need it." She threw it into the desert. "Go get it. And get off my dromedary."
Ferdinand eyed the bills in the sand. Frederick leaned over to sniff it.
"Off."
Fernando's skin had greened.
"It will be worse for you if I throw you from the dromedary." She reached into her robes again and pulled out a gun. "Does this help?"
Ferdinand's eye gleamed. He grabbed for the gun. Francesca moved faster. Frederick began to trot.
"Off. Now." Francesca pointed the gun at Ferdinand's head.
"But..."
"Now."
He leapt into the desert. Fernando, a moment later, did the same.
The dromedary, burdened now only with lightweight Francesca, could now move on to much more important matters.